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As I would always belong to him, so would he always be mine.*~ Oh. Apparently all Ed did was curl up into the foetal position, rock back and forth, and chant “I’m okay. All she had to do was pass out in the woods, wake up four months later, and start bitching about the hole in her chest. The Cullens all sit around their dining table–why do they have a dining table? The fate of her soul is being decided by democracy? Well, anyway, that means the vote is Yes, so Edward goes into the other room and breaks things.

Edward counters that the Volturi won’t be to find Bella, because their resident tracker does it by reading brainwaves or some crap, and since Bella is (as of this book) immune to vampires, he won’t be able to find her! Forget all about how James could track her, Jasper could manipulate her emotions, Alice can see her in the future, and uh, Carlisle cares about her? Not joookkinnng~ he marches off and we hear crashes from off-stage. Edward interjects at this point that they don’t have to turn her They can just wait a few years. He can withhold it as punishment for later, when she insists on seeing her friends against his wishes.

Bella hearing voices is not a manpire power, nor is it because she is textbook schizophrenic or even pants-on-head retarded. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time.

I had an ex pull this once and it pissed me off more than anything else–I don’t need a man to “take care of me,” and neither, for that matter, should Bella. Mormon vampire divorce, or Jasper insisting on being called Jasmine?No, he’s just going to pack away her belongings, like some kind of blood-sucking squirrel.Bella suddenly decides that she knew the whole time.Jacob is all “oh, uh, oops,” and Edward, once again, violates the poor kid’s privacy by reading his mind.Not exactly a stretch, considering later Edward does just exactly this. I can’t really imagine how these books could get any more dull at this point.

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