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Realizing that you’re holding on to negative, self-limiting beliefs is an important step in overcoming them. Physically attractive, tall and fit, non smoker, social drinker, intelligent (masters qualified), undertaking a career that corresponds with my education level, and cultured, with a strong interest in many of the arts, along with active competition in sport (i’m a cyclist) to a high amateur level.The problem, however, is that sometimes you don’t realize that you’re focusing on the . I am also a sociable person, not autistic (to my knowledge) and am well liked by friends of both genders.Being put on a hot list is better than not being put on a hot list, but, in and of itself, the gesture means very little. You haven’t been eliminated from contention, but there’s no guarantee you’re going to get an email. You go on, see that you’ve been browsed 518 times, but you’ve only received three emails and five winks.This registers in our brains like this: 510 people just rejected me.But, while the love may be tough, at the end we’re going to know exactly what went wrong and how we can do better next time.So scrub up and snap on the gloves; it’s time to get all up in them guts.There’s only one way to ensure that this cycle stops. So thank you, Sylvia, for asking a very important question that tons of people want to know the answer to.

So, I’m going to break in here right at the start: this is a good thing to recognize in yourself.

On a few occasions, I have written to these men to interact with them, but they have not written back.

Some of them still continue to “hotlist” me even weeks later. Somewhere that you store food that you’re not planning on eating right this second? A pantry to keep track of all the lovely ladies who may have caught their eyes while browsing. This is a huge problem with online dating and I only know because I’ve experienced it myself.

Despite all of this, I have only ever had one 5-month relationship when I was 16. I’ve found it very very difficult to get dates at a regular frequency, so in that time I’ve been on only 20 dates.

And despite spending the last 11 years trying to find a girlfriend, I haven’t had a single one, and – to add insult to injury – I’m still a virgin! Of those, I felt the vast majority went well – I do have social skills after all – and I expressed interest in a second date for 17 or 18 of the women…

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