Young black women dating old white men
How’s this for kismet: One fateful day in 1966, singer Tony Bennett met and took a photo with a couple after one of his shows.Little did Bennett know at the time, his future wife was there, too: She was the baby growing inside the belly of the female fan.I have loved several versions of white American men: the dreamboat, the rebel, the intellectual, the artist.After a while, I start to hate who they all seem to want women to be: easygoing, forgiving, domestic. Eventually I hate them for wanting me to be anything other than myself in the first place. Maybe the question should be: Why do white men choose ? I seem like a winnable game, my difference just enough of an obstacle to make the surmounting fun. Du Bois called “double consciousness.” Du Bois saw that self-consciousness about race as pathological, but he also called it “second sight.” It can be addictive.But anyway.) It’s just so transparent, watching one of these paragons of fragile masculinity take his male privilege out for a spin and realize he can date someone so young she won’t know how inappropriate it is. Why not father a child you’ll be too old to raise properly while you’re at it?The exact ages and differentials vary, but each one reinforces one important point: Women get less valuable as they age, while men just get to enjoy the ride.A caveat is necessary: You can’t help who you love.Maybe Tony Bennett and Susan Benedetto are genuinely the greatest love story of our time.
We were visiting his family, sitting around the kitchen table, talking about urban wildlife: possums, cougars, squirrels, that sort of thing. Her boyfriend had been hanging out in their backyard when he suddenly shouted to bring the shotgun outside. My boyfriend explained on the car ride home why he couldn’t say anything. He often points out our mutual interest in being marginal where we live—he in black Zambia, I in white America. He to be marginal, to marry a Zambian and become one. I think it might have to do with the desire to be marginal at home. Race relations are so electric in America—the color line like a live wire.
” Let’s revise that to add that if someone wants you to be the May to their December or vice versa, don’t let ‘em.
In the end, this is no time to be a traitor to your generation.
Older men who date much younger women make the transactional, hierarchical nature of romance explicit and reveal the extent to which men and women are still playing by very different rulebooks.
In other areas of life, we gesture toward valuing things beyond the superficial. Some older men have this secret other option, whereby they get to opt out of the system: When they acquire enough money or power, they can basically trade that capital for the thing women have that’s valued by society: youth and beauty.